Lower than Rock bottom has become very possible in the last 24 hours....

Well I don't think I could be feeling much worse right now. Had it out with one person last night and turns out that this whole thing was in my head and completely my fault. Not only did [person] explain everything to me, but he kinda made me realise what an idiot I was being. It started in a multiway conversation on MSN where he brought up something I had said that he had heard. Yes [person] has ears like a frikin' bat! :O I opened a separte conversation where I explain what I was thinking. He broke it down and gave a reasonable explaination for everything I had said.... Including that of what I had said earlier in public. After all the explaining and accusations in my direction turns out that, yes, I had over reacted. I had jumped to conclusions yet again and I felt like the worlds biggest idiot right then. But then [person] told me it was okay but of course I felt like it wasn't and I still feel like such a bad person, because already, me and [person] didn't exactly get off to a great start. And if [person] reads this I'm really sorry... again. God, I must have apologised to him about a million times last night, I mean words cannot described how humiliated and upset I was with myself. I still am. Although [person] told me it was okay I still feel as though it's not and I feel as though I've fucked this one up very very badly.
That was probably bringing me down alot this week, [yes bloggers, for a whole week the optimism died! :O]. I still feel like I need to pull myself in a little bit though. Because I know both my instincts and my mind are beginging to wander.

Now I feel as though I've ended up having one of the best summers ever but now in a way I'm almost looking forward to going back to school..haha.. me? A nerd? Neverrr Lol. Just to fall back into that routine of get up, breakfast, bus, school, bus home, food, tv, dinner, shower, homework, computer, sleep. Then wake up to do it again until friday. I kinda like that routine in a way because it gives me something to look forward to on a friday, my friends. I really couldn't ask for a better bunch of people. I can be myself around them, I don't have to feel like I need to change for them because even though I never would change for anyone I feel as though I've been accepted [yes I am aware of how cheesy and cliché that sounds.]


But yeah that's my most recent update and if [person] does read this.... For like the millionth time I am really really sorry for being so horrible. I know you said it was okay and everything but I still feel so horrible for fucking this up.
Friends?

Ciao for Now with a Boom Boom Pow ;)
xo