It's all false love and affection, you don't want me, you just like the attention.

My new most favouritest lyrics from La Roux - I'm not your toy. The lyrics are really good, she's so cool and yeah, awesome song, everyone youtube it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7IGE58IPgo&feature=fvst HERE now :) So yeah, I kinda had a shitty week. Again this is the last wanring i'll give readers, if your not up for a midly dramatic description of my life the fuck off to another page kay? But yeah umm... I saw someone I really didnt want to see yesterday and I got kinda mad. Even though this person doesnt seem to think they've done anything wrong, just fucking off with one of my friends, but then again I guess I should be used to that by now, it happens with every guy I ever like...*rolls eyes to prevent a break down at the computer*. I won't go on another rant about how "I don't understand why everyone treats me like shit" But you'd get the drift, Realllllly liked someone, they fuck off with my friend, think its okay, and try to remain friends? No thanks. I'm done with you. Please don't try unless you really mean it. Being your friend is too confusing. Either like me...or just don't bother like you did the last time, only this time the difference is that you know for definate that i like you.



Anywhooo, Wednesday, JC results came out....I did so much better than I imagined I would. I got 2A's 7B's 2C's I was so happy, I ended up crying for like 2 hours from relief, hapiness and because I was just so overwhelmed of the fact that I had done so well :) Feel free to congratulate me. I realise that sounds soooooo ego-maniac and big-headed but I don't care, I worked my ass of last year and now it's paid off xD Got some ermm financial congratulations [aka grandmothers helped out] and I guess its gonna be another situation where i'll end up spending 100 euro and have to try and work out where it's all gone It always happens, I end up digging out receipts from my pockets and my purse etc :P



But yeah ummm its my birthday soonish 29th September xD Woo paarrrtayyy :L I think me and a friend are combining birthday partayys cause there only a few days apart... so anyone who knows me ask me what we're doing and I'll explain :) Cant decide what I want of the parents yet.. However if anyone choses to buy me a present I would be thankful for itunes giftcards? Or not? Not is okay too.. ynoa what? No presents you guys its fiine :D

Another tune I'm liking right now is Ciara - if that boy dont love you by now [remix] lyrics describe my situation regarding a boy right now....

Going into town tomorrow so that should be good :O Someone who i'm confused over..[not the person mentioned above] is going aswell i think so I dont know at all how that'll pan out but lets keep our fingers crossed and hope he doesnt try anything....

But yeah i think that's enough blogging for one night :)

Mentions?
I'm just gonna list you's off cause I love y'all :)

Elise Wickham
Natalie Manning
Lucy Bennet
Keeva Kavanagh
Diarmuid Costello
Jonny Young
Jemma Corrigan-Coules
Cloeee Abbot
Danny........:L
Brucy [Aisling Lee]

And yeah I cant really think of anyone else right noww..

Ciao for noww :)
x

Your not that innocent and I'm not naive

*sigh* Where to begin? I feel as though my life is becoming a trainwreck right now. And if your not up for a melodramatic vent of my life then do me a favour and click that lil red 'x' up the top right-hand corner okay? Thanks.
Dont know what I've done wrong but people these days seem to think its fine to treat me like I don't matter, like they can toy with my emotions. And its so NOT okay just so you know. See i'm the sort of person that lets the little things get to me. Like okay I'm not gonna get into it because I'll only end up crying to myself [ie looking like a saddo in front of my computer, no thanks] So I shan't bore you with the details, but basically I feel as though a certain someone has just decided to fuck with my emotions and aren't considering the fact that every time they do it rips me apart inside. Not okay. I really don't get how they can do that and feel okay with it? Like seriously?
Whatever, I'm washing my hands of you now and thats the end of it, you've put me through so much that you'll never even know. And now you never will.

But yeah so JC results on Wednesday. Going for a meal with some cool people. Get this, I have rules for the night :P My rules include: No complaining or moaning about anything, no drama or bitching, loadsa photos and no complaints of "oh i look horrible delete!!!" cause i dont care nobody is aloud delete photos, and lotsa lotsa fun :). Seems stee but I find that if someone starts complaining or moaning about something i end up with a feeling of wanting to kill them because they're ruining everyones night like seriously shut up :L i dont care for complainers. But yeah so that should be fun, got a lovely dress and all, i'm on a shoe hunt from now until wednesday, i need blue shoes and accesories.

Ummm... yeah but things other than my trainwreck are goin' grand, still got my best mates behind me keeping me grounded. Anyone feel like a roll of mentions?
Here we go:

Mentions:
Elise
Diarmuid
Sarah
Natalie
Sami
Hazel
Efa
Jonny gets bold fonted cause he's awesome
Ash
Keeva
Lucy
Cloe
Brid
Barry
Jemma
Keith

LoveYouGuys
♥

Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast......

"Summer lovin' had me a blast" or just summer in general had me a blast xD. I can't believe its over *cry* I never realy wanted it to end, had the time of my life with totally new people and i'm so glad I had the opportunity to discover new things such as Jack Daniels on fire goes purple, hairspray cans melt when on fire after about 10/15 minutes, the fact that i love having 2 guys as best mates, spin the bottle loses its novelty after the first 5/10 spins depending on the people playing, boys hoodies are soooo warm, and the list goes on. But yeah, i love the friends i'm with now as i've previously blogged about for those of you who take up your sweet time to read this thing xP.

But yeah ZOMG! School is back tomorrow *Que the big dun dun dunnnnn music* back to early mornings and Ms Smith stopping you in the corridor to fix your shirt and tie like blah blah no one gives a fuck woman! Let us wear the uniform the way we want! Fuck sake haha. It's funny how she goes on like she freakin' owns the school when she's really only VP like seriously woman, Ms Barry makes the shots in the school not you!!
Ahh tbh I don't realy mind this year, I'm taking a new grip on things that sees an outlook of no drama, no tears, and maturity, I've outgrown the stupid second year drama that some people see to love that has no actual backbone and is built on false rumours and things you heard were said.... like omg just grow up please! If, however, you choose not to, I don't want anything to do with you, just let me know when you've grown up and you might get a second chance. Kay?

But yeah today was okay, Diarmuid brought down Crino, Ciaran, Simo, Ford and coc...[Conor O'Callaghan] and that was fun, they were a bit quiet though was the only thing but ahh well probably not their usual surroundings so I'll excuse them for that. Got some spin the bottle goin' with Crino and me and Elise and Jemma....Yeah that lost it's intrest after about 10 minutes, not even that haha. But chyahh I gots me a lil bitta Crino so that was a nice way to end it all :)
♫But it's over nowww ♫ Sorry, random Rihannah lyrics lol...Rather suiting no?

Okay time for mentions:
Jonny: He wont the bebo Luv contest [gave me my 300th Luv] and so gets a very special mention, He's like the bestest guy friend I could get. He's always there when I need him and as i am for him and so he gets the first and most important mention. Three years and we're really only friends this year.. mad isnt it? Can't believe it myself. He knows how I do be feelin' bout certain things. We dislike the same person/peopleand he's just awesome. Love you bud (Y)
Dave: Dave's awesome. He's funny, smart, total people person, general all rounder. SUPER HUG! Lol... He broke his hand for the end of the summer...Total mad hatter but he's awesome really. Oh and his hair omgggg Love that xP I think he wants an every blog mention so heres your mention here Davey xD Oh and for anyone who's not friends with him...yeah rethink your coolness kayy?
Saz: Oooft ;) Aww sarah I Love youuu. You bring laughter to my day and i dunno what i wudda done without you this summer, boobs ;) She respects me....for some reason LOL. Sarah is someone i love very dearly and she's like my little diamond in the light. There aint a dull moment when she's around. Remember when we first met? That walk up to castletown with the scouts? I wouldnt play any games with them at all haha. I Love you so so so much and you mean so much to me :)
Ash: Ash is pretty awesome... she gives awesome hugs and so very nearly won the bebo competition for my love :P Love you ash bash xD
Keeva: Keeva is all beautiful and shit. I Love her so very much. Aw yeahhh...and chyahh ima guide her through 3rd year cause she's all awesome and shit like that lol.
JemJem: Jemma is beautiful even if she wont agree with me. I love her really, se's quirky and lovely and very very beautiful xD
Keith: Keith is..well....keith..he'll strip at around 10 oclock if he gets paid, or if he just feels like it depending on his mood...He'll hug you at random and yeah he's just cool.
Beautiful Tadhgh: Aw this guy is unreal. He's not average in the slightest. He air drums to himself..and looks like a looner doing it. He's so goddam beautiful its not fair xD
SAMANTA! She is my girlfriend. Her birginity is in my room in a little box covered in tissue paper and i totally own it. She's my dance partner. I Love her so very much.
Natalie: I Love natalie. I really do. She's funny and sweet and knows how i feel about a certain someone... I understand her about someone too. She's there when i need her and we just clicked when we met haha...maybe later on...
Cillian Ahh Cillian is a good guy really, he's funny and will make an entrance aswell. Wears 2 jackets to do things....10 bars of galaxy and a litre of lucozade anyone? Lol.. ah no he's is a good guy when ya get to know him....Won't let anyone hurt matrin.. thats his job ;) *hug for cillian* lol
Diarmuid Ah diarmuid diarmuid diarmuid where to begin my man, best guy friend much? Well okay you and Jonny are equal i suppose. I can tell him anything and so he can with me. Hugs without spearing my chest? Yes please lol...Ermm...makes my best friend really happy [chyahh i be talkin bout ms Elise] Like yeah he's funny, smart, stops me over reacting.. self control around certain people....makes me laugh so goddam much it aint funny lol... ironic? lil bit....
He already got like half a blog on my bebo so yeah this i think will be suffice xD


Loveee My Life right at this point xD

Ciao for now
xo

A Good Beat Never Hurt No One..

Remember how things for me were finally looking up? Wrong. Things have taken a complete and utter downturn. Reason? Boys. I'm so fucking sick of all this shit, the way they think that they can mess with my head and think its fine. Sorry but its not! Not in the frikin' slightest. Right I'll explain, just to put you in the picture:
[Person 1] is a familiar person for those who have been reading my previous blog posts, this particular person liked one of my friends for a while, then another person asked this friend of mine out and so [person] was totally bummed out. Now my problem is that I feel as though me and person are gettin closer but [person] feels its just as friends and I re-heeee-ly don't think he sees that I am actually trying so so so hard with him, now granted selected friends have said he's been a bit more friendly with me but... I don't really know what to think of it as [person] sees us just as being friends. Confusion? Yessums. Now another thing people said to me was "no don't fall for [person], [person] is a douche but I decided to ignore these people and go with my heart and I'm gonna see if people are wrong (I really really hope they are!). The impression that I get from [person] is that he's funny, smart, sound, great kisser ;), sweet, kind etc etc and i like to believe that this is the real [person] that i like....alot.

[Person 2] is realllllly getting on my nerves!! He was all over me a few days ago in town and now... like wtf? He's all over this other one who he's alegedly meeting? [irish slang for not quite dating but sucking face occasionally].. Like omgwtf! I'm so angry with him because if you didn;t know us you would have sworn we were going out together...now i played it cool and hard to get..[twas finally my turn to play]..and it was really fun but then he goes and like...treats me like shit? Where do you get off doing that to me mister? :O Wanker prick much? ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Frustrations frustrations!!

Fucking boys,
Fuck my life.

Ciao for now
xoxo

When life decided to fuck me over, I screamed in the middle of it "wait!! got a condom?" xD

And now things are fine :)
Life is actually really good now, compared to 72 hours ago. For instance me and [person] are friends again which sent me over the moon through the stars and back again... I won The Lollipop game like 5 times today, I even won against beautiful Tahdgh. Got my hair cut xD I love short hair on me. In daves words its "Georgous...[he changed my name from gorgeous cause he's cool and shizz]. Ummm.... chyahh and I dunno I just seemed to have a really good day. Going to town on saturday with a whole loada people to see JHAH....Sketch [awesomest person in the whole friking world like omg i love you xD] is coming down with some cool peeps for a little while aswell so ima buy him a coffee :P...and chyahh I still hate singlness but not much I can do there.
I've decided that as my JC results are out soonish ima prep myself for them.... fuck I don't think i care too much.. It's only the Jc for fuck sake like cmonnn.. People over-rated the Jc soooo much like seriously anyone doing it this year calm yo'selves down!! I walked out of my exams going "are you freakin' serious? that was the dreaded JUNIOUR CERT Blaahhhhhhhhhhh!" I shall state this ever so clearly: Junior Certificate is a load of bullshit. It means nothing. Clear enough? Anywhooo... So I've figured something out lately, I am an over thinker... I think about things waayy too much and even the little things that most people would blow off I would consider to be awesome [cause i'm all cool and shit] I tend to over think them and anlyse them in my head like way too much and yeah... its kinda stupid but whatever.

So yeah thats all I can update on right now... oh and Roll on 5th Year


Oh and mentions for people: Lucy Bennet cause she reads this everytime I update it
Diarmuid and Elise cause they my best mates
Sketch cause...he's Sketch and he's awesome and shizzz :D
Dave cause....he's just Dave and derserves a mention (Y)
Keeva cause she's all beuatiful and stuff
Hazel cause I own her ;)
Danny cause he's the shizzzzzz
Well okay Ciao for Now
xo

Lower than Rock bottom has become very possible in the last 24 hours....

Well I don't think I could be feeling much worse right now. Had it out with one person last night and turns out that this whole thing was in my head and completely my fault. Not only did [person] explain everything to me, but he kinda made me realise what an idiot I was being. It started in a multiway conversation on MSN where he brought up something I had said that he had heard. Yes [person] has ears like a frikin' bat! :O I opened a separte conversation where I explain what I was thinking. He broke it down and gave a reasonable explaination for everything I had said.... Including that of what I had said earlier in public. After all the explaining and accusations in my direction turns out that, yes, I had over reacted. I had jumped to conclusions yet again and I felt like the worlds biggest idiot right then. But then [person] told me it was okay but of course I felt like it wasn't and I still feel like such a bad person, because already, me and [person] didn't exactly get off to a great start. And if [person] reads this I'm really sorry... again. God, I must have apologised to him about a million times last night, I mean words cannot described how humiliated and upset I was with myself. I still am. Although [person] told me it was okay I still feel as though it's not and I feel as though I've fucked this one up very very badly.
That was probably bringing me down alot this week, [yes bloggers, for a whole week the optimism died! :O]. I still feel like I need to pull myself in a little bit though. Because I know both my instincts and my mind are beginging to wander.

Now I feel as though I've ended up having one of the best summers ever but now in a way I'm almost looking forward to going back to school..haha.. me? A nerd? Neverrr Lol. Just to fall back into that routine of get up, breakfast, bus, school, bus home, food, tv, dinner, shower, homework, computer, sleep. Then wake up to do it again until friday. I kinda like that routine in a way because it gives me something to look forward to on a friday, my friends. I really couldn't ask for a better bunch of people. I can be myself around them, I don't have to feel like I need to change for them because even though I never would change for anyone I feel as though I've been accepted [yes I am aware of how cheesy and cliché that sounds.]


But yeah that's my most recent update and if [person] does read this.... For like the millionth time I am really really sorry for being so horrible. I know you said it was okay and everything but I still feel so horrible for fucking this up.
Friends?

Ciao for Now with a Boom Boom Pow ;)
xo

Loving you is cherry pie - Too bad I hate cherries and pie huh?

"I'm so over it I've been there and back"...... I fucking wish.

Today I didn't feel like myself. I haven't actually felt like myself all week. There's too much fucking boy drama that the male species seem to think is perfectly fine. I hate drama, and as boys tend to make everything worse, I thus hate boy drama with a vengeance. I don't understand how boys can be so oblivious to the complete and utter obvious. Take me for example, [I'd never use my friends in an example unless I had they're permission], I've had a week where I just haven't felt like myself and I've been out of character. I feel like certain people are judging me always. No matter if I'm just sitting quietly doing nothing to them or I'm talking to someone else! I have now began to kind of like... pulled myself back in a little bit. I don't get how people can be so two-faced to you and think it's okay? Nah. I don't do two-faced people. Can't fucking stand you! An apology? From you? Nah. You just seem to think that this is okay. To be a really nice person one day and then be a complete ass to me the next day. Where do you get off doing that to me? You don't know me well enough to treat me like that. And now you never will because I don't want anything to do with you. Fuck sake!
Mixed signals is something I hate as well. Isn't it so ironic how a guy can send a girl so many signals that he likes her? But... If a girl does the same to him then he goes and bitches about it to his friends? Can anyone else see that irony? I also don't get how a guy gets off with messing with a girl's head. Not fair. It seems that a girl's heart is just a fucking toy that he has control over for a period of time. Charm. That's how he gets it. Even if he knows about his..erm.. obvious... charm he may not realise the girl on the sidelines that he's charming. I have had two guys fuck off with my friends this week. Even when these two know that I like them. Seriously..Have you's got no consideration for the person with whom you are affecting by doing this? *Que big flashing arrow in my direction*. This two-faced bullshit that I've put up with this week is over now. I'm done with it. When you deicde to grow a pair and just admit you like my friend rather than me, you tell me okay? Fucking idiot.
I actually hand-wrote this blog last night in my kitchen 'cause my mom said that I was being all distant and shit but like serously as if I'm going to talk to my parents about this? Are you kidding me? When I hand-worte this out, I went on a big "lack of confidence" rant and as I've read back over it, as true as it is, I know fellow readers don't really care and you's probably have enough stuff going on in your own lives and thus I shan't depress you on that.

As for me? I don't really know how I'm going to deal with the male species. I understand they think through they're penis' but really? Use your head...as opposed to getting it.
I've got some serious thinking to do.....

Ciao for now
xo